Realizing that I'll have to Live with my Parents for an entire year....

and now I wanna barf. I'm in my 30s and drowning in student loan debt. I've worked all over the country, but I was just let go from my last job, and I've realized that in order to do what I want (move to NYC to work in my field), I need to save up some serious bank. I need to fix my credit and have a cushion. The best way to do this is to live with my parents. I'm terrified by this. I spent my 20s running away from them. I like them well enough, but I can't live with them again. Our relationship barely survived my teens. I need to make bank and get the hell out of here, ASAP. Just thinking about it now, I might be shaking. I have a weird feeling in the back of my throat. I'm almost too weak to lift my arms. Just saying the words, "I'd have to live with my parents for at least a year," I feel a sickening panic come over me. I feel weak, defeated, like a failure. Like a failure is a bad thing. I survived Los Angeles. I'm sure I'll do well in NYC with my contacts and new outlook on life and such, but I really want to barf right now. I want to cuss a lot, but mostly after I pass out. What has life done to me? How did I find myself in this position? Is there ANY other way?

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